*CHORUS*
don't you ever wish
you were someone else
you were meant to be
the way you are exactly
don't you ever say
you don't like the way you are
when you learn to love yourself
you're better off by far
and i hope you'll always stay the same
cos there's nothing bout you i would change
i think that you could be
whatever you wanted to be
if you just realize
all the dreams you have inside
don't be afraid
if you've got something to say
just open up your heart
and let it show you the way
*CHORUS*
believe in yourself
reach down inside
the love you find will set you free
believe in yourself
you will come alive
have faith in what you
you'll make it through
*CHORUS*
no there's nothing bout you i would change
don't change
OMG! i love this song! abit old, but hey, who gives right?! plus, joey mcintyre was quite cute back then. ahaha! go listen ok! and if anyone has it, be a kind soul and send it to me PLEASE! wakaka! i've decided that maybe i should post songs in every three entries. oh wells.
ain.was.here! 300907
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Saturday, September 8, 2007
SPOILERS!
pw pw pw pw pw ... pw pw pw pw pw *knocks head aginst the wall*
i swear that's the worst thing in the face of the universe! wahh! like it isn't bad enough that we have to study for promos! ok, shan't kill the mood.
i'm absoulutely in love with alter bridge! ahaha! they rock!
ainwashere! 090907
i swear that's the worst thing in the face of the universe! wahh! like it isn't bad enough that we have to study for promos! ok, shan't kill the mood.
i'm absoulutely in love with alter bridge! ahaha! they rock!
ainwashere! 090907
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
HEAVY EYES, HEAVY HEAD & A WEAK NECK
it's freaking 4am in the morning and i still have freaking PROJECT WORK to do! wahh! how did a nice teacher like ms naidu end up with such a demon-ish job?! my brains are getting fried, and i can't type properly. pw's such a drag!
ramones are crazy people. 4 of us are online now. god knows what in heaven's name they're up to at this time of the day, or night.. but nah, i shan't talk to them, they're probably busy anyways. (maybe with pw too! sighs.) random, random, i just need a break from p****** w*** that's all. so that's it. the only two vulgarities you need to know in jc. that and m*gg*ng. ahaha!
on a lighter note, mum's coming back from china tml at 9pm or something like that. i think she called me to tell me just now but i can't remember. you know those times when you're in the middle of a deep sleep and someone tells you something, and when you really wake up, you can't really decide if it was a dream or if it really did happened. either way, i'll probably get in trouble cos i can't remember the flight number and what time it lands. KAPEESH!
went to city hall with the guys today. with the exception of jon, but gabriel came, so it wasn't that bad. ahaha! they're really something you know. sweet, disgusting, cute, egoistic, relatable and embarassing all at the same time. it's an odd mix, but it's great. don't really think you'll find a weirder treasure.
jared and gabriel were teaching athena and i some "3 step" thing. before that, the only step i knew was "2 step", some dance move i picked up during my obsession-with-nsync-days. i would have been enthu and kept trying it except for one teeeeeeeeeeeny weeeeeeeeny little thing. WE WERE IN THE MIDDLE OF MARINA SQUARE! ahaha! but not like it mattered to THEM, so they just kept at it. funny.
i'm quite sad that i'll be missing teachers' day in rj actually. like, i know i'll get to go back to cedar, see all my old buddies, FINALLY CATCH UP WITH MY GORGEOUSES, (can't wait!) and see my physics teacher for the first time since o levels. (pray he won't ask me what i got for o's!) but i still wanna spend teachers' day at rj, with ms chuah and ms prakash. especially since ms chuah a cedarian too! sighs.
damn! 430!
ain.was.here!
ramones are crazy people. 4 of us are online now. god knows what in heaven's name they're up to at this time of the day, or night.. but nah, i shan't talk to them, they're probably busy anyways. (maybe with pw too! sighs.) random, random, i just need a break from p****** w*** that's all. so that's it. the only two vulgarities you need to know in jc. that and m*gg*ng. ahaha!
on a lighter note, mum's coming back from china tml at 9pm or something like that. i think she called me to tell me just now but i can't remember. you know those times when you're in the middle of a deep sleep and someone tells you something, and when you really wake up, you can't really decide if it was a dream or if it really did happened. either way, i'll probably get in trouble cos i can't remember the flight number and what time it lands. KAPEESH!
went to city hall with the guys today. with the exception of jon, but gabriel came, so it wasn't that bad. ahaha! they're really something you know. sweet, disgusting, cute, egoistic, relatable and embarassing all at the same time. it's an odd mix, but it's great. don't really think you'll find a weirder treasure.
jared and gabriel were teaching athena and i some "3 step" thing. before that, the only step i knew was "2 step", some dance move i picked up during my obsession-with-nsync-days. i would have been enthu and kept trying it except for one teeeeeeeeeeeny weeeeeeeeny little thing. WE WERE IN THE MIDDLE OF MARINA SQUARE! ahaha! but not like it mattered to THEM, so they just kept at it. funny.
i'm quite sad that i'll be missing teachers' day in rj actually. like, i know i'll get to go back to cedar, see all my old buddies, FINALLY CATCH UP WITH MY GORGEOUSES, (can't wait!) and see my physics teacher for the first time since o levels. (pray he won't ask me what i got for o's!) but i still wanna spend teachers' day at rj, with ms chuah and ms prakash. especially since ms chuah a cedarian too! sighs.
damn! 430!
ain.was.here!
Thursday, August 23, 2007
SUCKS
i caught up on a lot of sleep today. ahaha! being sick is a good excuse to sleep alot, no? the medication's drowsy anyways. i would've lazed around the entire day but promos are really starting to scare the life out of me. so i tired to be hardworking and sort out all the notes i had lying around since mid-term2. NOTE: go over to the photocopy shop and get all my notes binded! and that drained me, but i slept too much to sleep again, so i got my dosage of nsync! ahaha! miss those guys! wahh! jc is seriosly SMOKING HOTT!
ok whatever. i think i'm really starting to enjoy the company of my class. as in, it was pretty hard to settle in at first cos we're really diverse - the wild and the conservative, the muggers and the procrastinators, the sporty ones and those who simply hate pe. (ehem *athena* ehem) but yeah. still, i think pw really sheds light on people in a totally different aspect. you see how some deal with pressure and how they all work together.
i know the 2 of you are really smart. kudos to the both of you for that. keep at it. i know how you guys wanna do really well for pw, heck, who doesn't. but i can't understand why you treat us the way you do. are we seriously hampering your efforts of getting 'A's for every damned subject?! like, our understanding of the theory may have countless defects, not beacuse we didn't try. (did i mention my econs is the worst in class?) but it hurts so bad when you whisper amongst yourselves, and do stuff without including the other two. and how you get irritated when we don't understand, but it's not like you try to explain in the first place. it makes me feel dumb-er and more useless. and boy, let me tell you, IT SUCKS! so now, i hate pw. because i don't even feel it's MY project anymore.
aiya, it's not that they're not nice. sometimes i can't help thinking it's me who has the problem. sighs. in any case, it's nice having people to relate to. no matter how bad this sounds, it's nice having people who side you, and always make you feel like you're right, though sometimes you know it's your fault. and those you who give you a high five or a little knock of fists when they know you're gonna cry terribly. and those who just know there's something wrong with you, no matter how many times you tell them you're ok. and those who tell you to get better and take care when you're not well. those who listen when you've got stuff to say then try to make you feel better by cracking stupid jokes. those who make studying something i'd look forward to. or talk to you while you walk to the bus stop in the rain. even if it's just stirring your drink for you when it's too hot to drink. you wonder where'd you be or the person you'd become without these people in your lives. THANKS GUYS.
i don't know. it hit me pretty hard when i read rin's comment to aisyah on friendster. "ain has disppeared." i felt sooo low. so many times before i left cedar i told myself that no matter how far our future would bring us, i'd always make time for my gorgeouses. and in the beginning, i did. but now, with the tonnes of things i have to keep myself occupied in school, i think i'm starting to forget that promise i made. and again, IT SUCKS. i love them to bits. (hope you guys know that) sighs. when i think of them, i feel contented. with them, it wasn't about going to fancy places for dinner. pot luck at the beach was enough. it wasn't about dressing up and trying to look pretty. tshirt and jeans were all i had to wear. and it wasn't about watching movies and all that. just walking over to get irish cream coffee was memorable.
to the three of you, if you're reading this, PLEASE KNOW THIS OK? even if i don't tag your blogs as frequently as sooo many others do, it's not that i don't read it anymore or that i've forgotten you or that i'm too busy to want to have anything to do with you. cmon, you guys know how i don't really like the computer. and just because we don't go out as often as we used to doesn't mean we won't eventually, even for a couple of minutes. even if by unexcusable reason, i don't reply you on msn, it's not that i feel talking to you is a waste of time. i'll always be there, the same ain that you guys have helped shape, they one that you guys had known all these years. it pains me so to know that you've felt i've drifted, cos i don't want to. LOVE YOU! remember that ok? just hold on to us. wherever you go, i'll be there!
ain.was.here! 230807
ok whatever. i think i'm really starting to enjoy the company of my class. as in, it was pretty hard to settle in at first cos we're really diverse - the wild and the conservative, the muggers and the procrastinators, the sporty ones and those who simply hate pe. (ehem *athena* ehem) but yeah. still, i think pw really sheds light on people in a totally different aspect. you see how some deal with pressure and how they all work together.
i know the 2 of you are really smart. kudos to the both of you for that. keep at it. i know how you guys wanna do really well for pw, heck, who doesn't. but i can't understand why you treat us the way you do. are we seriously hampering your efforts of getting 'A's for every damned subject?! like, our understanding of the theory may have countless defects, not beacuse we didn't try. (did i mention my econs is the worst in class?) but it hurts so bad when you whisper amongst yourselves, and do stuff without including the other two. and how you get irritated when we don't understand, but it's not like you try to explain in the first place. it makes me feel dumb-er and more useless. and boy, let me tell you, IT SUCKS! so now, i hate pw. because i don't even feel it's MY project anymore.
aiya, it's not that they're not nice. sometimes i can't help thinking it's me who has the problem. sighs. in any case, it's nice having people to relate to. no matter how bad this sounds, it's nice having people who side you, and always make you feel like you're right, though sometimes you know it's your fault. and those you who give you a high five or a little knock of fists when they know you're gonna cry terribly. and those who just know there's something wrong with you, no matter how many times you tell them you're ok. and those who tell you to get better and take care when you're not well. those who listen when you've got stuff to say then try to make you feel better by cracking stupid jokes. those who make studying something i'd look forward to. or talk to you while you walk to the bus stop in the rain. even if it's just stirring your drink for you when it's too hot to drink. you wonder where'd you be or the person you'd become without these people in your lives. THANKS GUYS.
i don't know. it hit me pretty hard when i read rin's comment to aisyah on friendster. "ain has disppeared." i felt sooo low. so many times before i left cedar i told myself that no matter how far our future would bring us, i'd always make time for my gorgeouses. and in the beginning, i did. but now, with the tonnes of things i have to keep myself occupied in school, i think i'm starting to forget that promise i made. and again, IT SUCKS. i love them to bits. (hope you guys know that) sighs. when i think of them, i feel contented. with them, it wasn't about going to fancy places for dinner. pot luck at the beach was enough. it wasn't about dressing up and trying to look pretty. tshirt and jeans were all i had to wear. and it wasn't about watching movies and all that. just walking over to get irish cream coffee was memorable.
to the three of you, if you're reading this, PLEASE KNOW THIS OK? even if i don't tag your blogs as frequently as sooo many others do, it's not that i don't read it anymore or that i've forgotten you or that i'm too busy to want to have anything to do with you. cmon, you guys know how i don't really like the computer. and just because we don't go out as often as we used to doesn't mean we won't eventually, even for a couple of minutes. even if by unexcusable reason, i don't reply you on msn, it's not that i feel talking to you is a waste of time. i'll always be there, the same ain that you guys have helped shape, they one that you guys had known all these years. it pains me so to know that you've felt i've drifted, cos i don't want to. LOVE YOU! remember that ok? just hold on to us. wherever you go, i'll be there!
ain.was.here! 230807
Sunday, August 19, 2007
TRY THIS!
ahaha! just got back home from a day at kexin's house trying to do pw. don't have to ask much about how much we were able to do. sighs. i think it's really eating my life up. all our lives up actually. i don't know. i'd rather spend my time doing other stuff, studing for promos even. planning for events that would eventually be carried out was sooo much more fun and fruitful. at least the ideas were worked on, not just left there. *thinks of FloorPLAY* ok, anyways, i need a break from pw now, (NO! i haven't moved away from that damned subject yet.) so i decided to do this questionairre mazmo sent me a while back. lol! ENJOY!
1. were you named after anyone?
ahaha! nope! mummy said she thought about my name long before i was born and she always liked it. but then again, who doesn't right?! SITI NUR'AIN. so easy to say! (...so easy to make fun of...)
2. when was the last time you cried?
thursday. eh, is crying the same as tearing?! :S
3. do you like your handwriting?
not when i can't finish essays during exams, i don't!
4. what is your favourite lunch meat?
beef! especially those in black pepper sauce! wah! just in case you're planning on TREATING me to steak for lunch *hint hint* i like my beef MEDIUM ok!
5. do you have kids?
?!?! crazy ah? it'll be fun actually, though i think my kid would suffocate cos i'd hug him so tight and never let him go.
6. if you were another person, would you be friends with you?
i guess so. i mean why not right?! like, what's life without ain anyways?! ok, ego much..
7. do you use sarcasm alot?
ahaha! i love being sarcastic, in a nice way laa. i have my days. but i hate it when people use it to tick you off. so annoying!
8. do you still have your tonsils?
they're still there! ahaha! ahhhhhhhhhhhhh! *opens mouth*
9. would you bungee jump?
go and die laa! you wish man! i happen to really like staying alive, thank you very much.
10. what's your favourite cereal?
FROSTIES! ahaha! *winks at athena*
11. do you unite your shoes when you take them off?
i think so. i get in alot of trouble if i don't. sighs.. the things you get having to live with merticulous GUYS in the house.
12. do you think you are strong?
all those gym trainings since sec1 had better paid off man! *flexes* SHIT LAA!
13. what's your favourite ice-cream?
orange sherbet! especially the one from swensens!
14. what's the first thing you notice about people?
i think it's how muscular they are. or more like, how toned their bodies ah. ahaha! damn, i sound like some twisted pervert. please! i swear i'm not!
15. red or pink?
red i think. only cos i've always wanted a red shirt.
16. what's the least favourite thing about yourself?
being the best procrastinator. it's really not something i'm proud of.
17. who do you miss the most?
those that i love dearly and i hardly or can't ever see them again
18. what colour pants and shoes are you wearing?
barefoot! mummy would kill me if i wore shoes in the house! and, some berms. they're blue. (surprise surprise!)
19. what was the last thing you ate?
asam laksa! still nothing beats the ones from penang. go original people!
20. what are you listening to right now?
my bro singing in the bathroom. ahaha! i can't make out what he's saying. sighs. heavy metal.
21. if you were a crayon, what colour would you be?
easy! blue! not the darker shades though. those are just plain emo.
22. favourite smells?
babies! ok, not when they're doing their business laa, but you get the picture.
23. who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
jodie and kexin. damn pw!
24. do you like the person who sent this to you?
?!?! what kind of a question was that?! who doesn't love mazmo when they know her?!
25. favourite sports to watch?
soccer. athletics definitely. i don't know. i'd be open to anything, besides golf!
26. hair colour?
black. how dull. do you know you get caught in rj if you've got gyed hair?!
27. eye colour?
everyone's looks a little brown when the sun shine's in them. ok, desperate attempts to make in seem un-black.
28. do you wear contacts?
since sec2!
29. favourite food?
sheesh! i eat anything! that's halal of course.
30. scary movie or happy endings?
happy endings. they always melt your heart.
31. last movie you watched?
THE PATRIOT! on star movies! it's damn good! plus you get to oggle at heath ledger!
32. what colour shirt are you wearing?
black. wahhh! emo!
33. summer or winter?
winter definitely! always wanted to make SNOW ANGELS! aiyo, singapore's like summer everyday laa
34. hugs or kisses?
kisses are HARAM! cannot! ahaha! but hugs are nicer anyways. they're warmer!
35. favourite dessert?
cheng tng! go try the one at geylang market!
36. most likely to respond?
mummy. when she's not sleeping laa. when she does, "not even 10 foghorns can wake [her]!"
37. least likely to respond?
hmm.. that's a tough one. i don't know. the indian uncle at s11 bishan. i think he hates me. if only he knew i was indian too..
38. what book are you reading?
pride & prejudice! DARCY'S HOTT!
39. what is on your mouse pad?
?!?! my mouse laa!
40. what did you watch on tv last night?
i didn't watch anything! i was out the whole day!
41. favourite sound?
jared singing the national anthem. i swear you can NEVER find another rock version of majulah singapura! ahaha!
42. rolling stones oe beatles?
why isn't NSYNC a choice! so unfair!
43. what's the furthest you've ever been from home?
thailand. track&field training camp. lol! ahh, memories!
44. do you have a special talent?
i think so. if i talk too much, i irritate myself!
45. where were you born?
kadang kerbau hospital. 13 hours after aisyah! HOW COOL!
ain.was.here!
1. were you named after anyone?
ahaha! nope! mummy said she thought about my name long before i was born and she always liked it. but then again, who doesn't right?! SITI NUR'AIN. so easy to say! (...so easy to make fun of...)
2. when was the last time you cried?
thursday. eh, is crying the same as tearing?! :S
3. do you like your handwriting?
not when i can't finish essays during exams, i don't!
4. what is your favourite lunch meat?
beef! especially those in black pepper sauce! wah! just in case you're planning on TREATING me to steak for lunch *hint hint* i like my beef MEDIUM ok!
5. do you have kids?
?!?! crazy ah? it'll be fun actually, though i think my kid would suffocate cos i'd hug him so tight and never let him go.
6. if you were another person, would you be friends with you?
i guess so. i mean why not right?! like, what's life without ain anyways?! ok, ego much..
7. do you use sarcasm alot?
ahaha! i love being sarcastic, in a nice way laa. i have my days. but i hate it when people use it to tick you off. so annoying!
8. do you still have your tonsils?
they're still there! ahaha! ahhhhhhhhhhhhh! *opens mouth*
9. would you bungee jump?
go and die laa! you wish man! i happen to really like staying alive, thank you very much.
10. what's your favourite cereal?
FROSTIES! ahaha! *winks at athena*
11. do you unite your shoes when you take them off?
i think so. i get in alot of trouble if i don't. sighs.. the things you get having to live with merticulous GUYS in the house.
12. do you think you are strong?
all those gym trainings since sec1 had better paid off man! *flexes* SHIT LAA!
13. what's your favourite ice-cream?
orange sherbet! especially the one from swensens!
14. what's the first thing you notice about people?
i think it's how muscular they are. or more like, how toned their bodies ah. ahaha! damn, i sound like some twisted pervert. please! i swear i'm not!
15. red or pink?
red i think. only cos i've always wanted a red shirt.
16. what's the least favourite thing about yourself?
being the best procrastinator. it's really not something i'm proud of.
17. who do you miss the most?
those that i love dearly and i hardly or can't ever see them again
18. what colour pants and shoes are you wearing?
barefoot! mummy would kill me if i wore shoes in the house! and, some berms. they're blue. (surprise surprise!)
19. what was the last thing you ate?
asam laksa! still nothing beats the ones from penang. go original people!
20. what are you listening to right now?
my bro singing in the bathroom. ahaha! i can't make out what he's saying. sighs. heavy metal.
21. if you were a crayon, what colour would you be?
easy! blue! not the darker shades though. those are just plain emo.
22. favourite smells?
babies! ok, not when they're doing their business laa, but you get the picture.
23. who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
jodie and kexin. damn pw!
24. do you like the person who sent this to you?
?!?! what kind of a question was that?! who doesn't love mazmo when they know her?!
25. favourite sports to watch?
soccer. athletics definitely. i don't know. i'd be open to anything, besides golf!
26. hair colour?
black. how dull. do you know you get caught in rj if you've got gyed hair?!
27. eye colour?
everyone's looks a little brown when the sun shine's in them. ok, desperate attempts to make in seem un-black.
28. do you wear contacts?
since sec2!
29. favourite food?
sheesh! i eat anything! that's halal of course.
30. scary movie or happy endings?
happy endings. they always melt your heart.
31. last movie you watched?
THE PATRIOT! on star movies! it's damn good! plus you get to oggle at heath ledger!
32. what colour shirt are you wearing?
black. wahhh! emo!
33. summer or winter?
winter definitely! always wanted to make SNOW ANGELS! aiyo, singapore's like summer everyday laa
34. hugs or kisses?
kisses are HARAM! cannot! ahaha! but hugs are nicer anyways. they're warmer!
35. favourite dessert?
cheng tng! go try the one at geylang market!
36. most likely to respond?
mummy. when she's not sleeping laa. when she does, "not even 10 foghorns can wake [her]!"
37. least likely to respond?
hmm.. that's a tough one. i don't know. the indian uncle at s11 bishan. i think he hates me. if only he knew i was indian too..
38. what book are you reading?
pride & prejudice! DARCY'S HOTT!
39. what is on your mouse pad?
?!?! my mouse laa!
40. what did you watch on tv last night?
i didn't watch anything! i was out the whole day!
41. favourite sound?
jared singing the national anthem. i swear you can NEVER find another rock version of majulah singapura! ahaha!
42. rolling stones oe beatles?
why isn't NSYNC a choice! so unfair!
43. what's the furthest you've ever been from home?
thailand. track&field training camp. lol! ahh, memories!
44. do you have a special talent?
i think so. if i talk too much, i irritate myself!
45. where were you born?
kadang kerbau hospital. 13 hours after aisyah! HOW COOL!
ain.was.here!
Saturday, August 18, 2007
HAVE YOU EVER REALLY LOVED A WOMAN
to really love a woman - to understand her - you gotta know her deep inside - hear every thought - see every dream - and give her wings when she wants to fly - and when you find yourself lying helpless in her arms - you know you really love a woman
when you love a woman - you tell her that she's really wanted - when you love woman - tell her that she's the one - she needs somebody - to tell her that it's gonna last forever - so tell me have you ever really - really really ever loved a woman
when you love a woman - let her hold you - till you know how she needs to be touched - you gotta breathe her - and really taste her - till you feel her in your blood - when you can see your unborn children in her eyes - you know you really love a woman
when you love a woman - you tell her that she's really wanted - when you love a woman - tell her that she's the one - she needs somebody - to tell her that you'll always be together - so tell me have you ever really - really really ever loved a woman
you gotta give her some faith - hold her tight - a little tenderness - you gotta treat her right - she will be there for you - takin' good care of you - you really gotta love your woman
when you love a woman - you tell her that she's really wanted - when you love a woman - you tell her that she's the one - she needs somebody to tell you that it's gonna last forever - so tell me have you ever really - really really ever loved a woman
WAH! really love this song man! beautiful ain't it?! ahaha! bryan adams. sang our hearts out during class camp. damn! gonna miss those moments!
ain.was.here! 190807
when you love a woman - you tell her that she's really wanted - when you love woman - tell her that she's the one - she needs somebody - to tell her that it's gonna last forever - so tell me have you ever really - really really ever loved a woman
when you love a woman - let her hold you - till you know how she needs to be touched - you gotta breathe her - and really taste her - till you feel her in your blood - when you can see your unborn children in her eyes - you know you really love a woman
when you love a woman - you tell her that she's really wanted - when you love a woman - tell her that she's the one - she needs somebody - to tell her that you'll always be together - so tell me have you ever really - really really ever loved a woman
you gotta give her some faith - hold her tight - a little tenderness - you gotta treat her right - she will be there for you - takin' good care of you - you really gotta love your woman
when you love a woman - you tell her that she's really wanted - when you love a woman - you tell her that she's the one - she needs somebody to tell you that it's gonna last forever - so tell me have you ever really - really really ever loved a woman
WAH! really love this song man! beautiful ain't it?! ahaha! bryan adams. sang our hearts out during class camp. damn! gonna miss those moments!
ain.was.here! 190807
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
IT'S CLASS CAMP TOMORROW!
call me insane, but i think i'm starting to get hooked on PRIDE & PREJUDICE. i just can't stop reading the damned thing. read it in the bus, read in when i'm free, read it before i sleep. it's an unhealthy obsession seriously. (if ms lye sees this, i'm sooo screwed.) i can't stop. partly beacause i'm not supposed to, considering we're supposed to finish it even before common tests, but mostly i think it's cos i'm simply biased. ahaha! FITZWILLAIM DARCY! wah! he's seriously DAMN HOT! and he's soooo sweet! sighs. maybe it's this idealistic thing athena's got me constantly dreaming about. you know, kinda like a knight in shining armour. oh wells, it doesn't hurt to want things right?
anyways, i've realized that i haven't been doing much work after school for the past weeks or so. doesn't help that promos are like 6 freaking weeks away! even all those times when i'd stay back with a couple of the ramones, i'd be sooo distracted. plus, dad gets pissed that i'm always home so late. keep telling him it's track, (and no, i'm not lying) and then, his next few lines are always the same. hardly ever any variations to it. first, he'll go on about how track's taking up so much of my time, then how maybe me being a captain was a wrong move, and the worst part of all, he'll reflect upon my dsa as being a wrong choice.
i really can't help it that i love jumping. there've been so many other ccas i've taken part in since primary school, several others that i've had the opprtunity to represent, but nothing compared to running or jumping for the school. i don't know. it's a different atmosphere. it's nicer. but maybe, being too attached isn't a good thing either. i always told myself when i dsa-ed that studies will always be more important. but being capt-AIN made me wanna give sooo much more for the team. i'd put my heart and soul into it, so much so that i've neglected what i decided to be most important. gah! life is unfair, no? you hardly ever get the best of both worlds. well, now, there's no more excuses. nothing i can say to excuse myself from studying. no more trainings, no more meetings, no more ihc. just gotta sit my big butt down and focus. just like how i'd put my energy in a jump or spend my time visulaizing it, i shall now spend it memorising notes and putting in extra effort in work. GO AIN! ALL THE WAY!
anyways, the hectic life that most of us have now has been driting me away from the very people that were there for me when it all started. my og. hardly ever talk to them anymore. as in, you can't expect to be close to evryone, but the one or two that always stuck with you, you thank them from the bottom of your heart for making life during the first three months bearable and enjoyable.
i rarely talk to bernard now. talking's just one thing. i don't think i see him much now either. like, now that i've got people like jared+jon+bruno to keep me company during breaks, i don't pay much attention to him anymore when he comes over. not like before. makes me feel terrible. i think i have a disgraceful habit of treating people like they're 'spare tyres'. it's not something i want to possess, yet at the same time, i don't think it's something i can rid myself of that easily. i don't wanna remember the not-so-pleasant things he's done. (i'm just sensitive.) i know he's not like that. but we are human right? everyone does things that they don't mean to (i think) sometimes. unintentionally, they hurt people around them. but i don't wanna remember him for that, cos then i'll hate him. and i don't want to. cos we've spent so much time talking and in each other's company that that would be a most terrible outcome. sighs. things were simpler when you didn't have to know so many people.
ain.was.here! 150807
anyways, i've realized that i haven't been doing much work after school for the past weeks or so. doesn't help that promos are like 6 freaking weeks away! even all those times when i'd stay back with a couple of the ramones, i'd be sooo distracted. plus, dad gets pissed that i'm always home so late. keep telling him it's track, (and no, i'm not lying) and then, his next few lines are always the same. hardly ever any variations to it. first, he'll go on about how track's taking up so much of my time, then how maybe me being a captain was a wrong move, and the worst part of all, he'll reflect upon my dsa as being a wrong choice.
i really can't help it that i love jumping. there've been so many other ccas i've taken part in since primary school, several others that i've had the opprtunity to represent, but nothing compared to running or jumping for the school. i don't know. it's a different atmosphere. it's nicer. but maybe, being too attached isn't a good thing either. i always told myself when i dsa-ed that studies will always be more important. but being capt-AIN made me wanna give sooo much more for the team. i'd put my heart and soul into it, so much so that i've neglected what i decided to be most important. gah! life is unfair, no? you hardly ever get the best of both worlds. well, now, there's no more excuses. nothing i can say to excuse myself from studying. no more trainings, no more meetings, no more ihc. just gotta sit my big butt down and focus. just like how i'd put my energy in a jump or spend my time visulaizing it, i shall now spend it memorising notes and putting in extra effort in work. GO AIN! ALL THE WAY!
anyways, the hectic life that most of us have now has been driting me away from the very people that were there for me when it all started. my og. hardly ever talk to them anymore. as in, you can't expect to be close to evryone, but the one or two that always stuck with you, you thank them from the bottom of your heart for making life during the first three months bearable and enjoyable.
i rarely talk to bernard now. talking's just one thing. i don't think i see him much now either. like, now that i've got people like jared+jon+bruno to keep me company during breaks, i don't pay much attention to him anymore when he comes over. not like before. makes me feel terrible. i think i have a disgraceful habit of treating people like they're 'spare tyres'. it's not something i want to possess, yet at the same time, i don't think it's something i can rid myself of that easily. i don't wanna remember the not-so-pleasant things he's done. (i'm just sensitive.) i know he's not like that. but we are human right? everyone does things that they don't mean to (i think) sometimes. unintentionally, they hurt people around them. but i don't wanna remember him for that, cos then i'll hate him. and i don't want to. cos we've spent so much time talking and in each other's company that that would be a most terrible outcome. sighs. things were simpler when you didn't have to know so many people.
ain.was.here! 150807
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