SUCKS

i caught up on a lot of sleep today. ahaha! being sick is a good excuse to sleep alot, no? the medication's drowsy anyways. i would've lazed around the entire day but promos are really starting to scare the life out of me. so i tired to be hardworking and sort out all the notes i had lying around since mid-term2. NOTE: go over to the photocopy shop and get all my notes binded! and that drained me, but i slept too much to sleep again, so i got my dosage of nsync! ahaha! miss those guys! wahh! jc is seriosly SMOKING HOTT!

ok whatever. i think i'm really starting to enjoy the company of my class. as in, it was pretty hard to settle in at first cos we're really diverse - the wild and the conservative, the muggers and the procrastinators, the sporty ones and those who simply hate pe. (ehem *athena* ehem) but yeah. still, i think pw really sheds light on people in a totally different aspect. you see how some deal with pressure and how they all work together.

i know the 2 of you are really smart. kudos to the both of you for that. keep at it. i know how you guys wanna do really well for pw, heck, who doesn't. but i can't understand why you treat us the way you do. are we seriously hampering your efforts of getting 'A's for every damned subject?! like, our understanding of the theory may have countless defects, not beacuse we didn't try. (did i mention my econs is the worst in class?) but it hurts so bad when you whisper amongst yourselves, and do stuff without including the other two. and how you get irritated when we don't understand, but it's not like you try to explain in the first place. it makes me feel dumb-er and more useless. and boy, let me tell you, IT SUCKS! so now, i hate pw. because i don't even feel it's MY project anymore.

aiya, it's not that they're not nice. sometimes i can't help thinking it's me who has the problem. sighs. in any case, it's nice having people to relate to. no matter how bad this sounds, it's nice having people who side you, and always make you feel like you're right, though sometimes you know it's your fault. and those you who give you a high five or a little knock of fists when they know you're gonna cry terribly. and those who just know there's something wrong with you, no matter how many times you tell them you're ok. and those who tell you to get better and take care when you're not well. those who listen when you've got stuff to say then try to make you feel better by cracking stupid jokes. those who make studying something i'd look forward to. or talk to you while you walk to the bus stop in the rain. even if it's just stirring your drink for you when it's too hot to drink. you wonder where'd you be or the person you'd become without these people in your lives. THANKS GUYS.

i don't know. it hit me pretty hard when i read rin's comment to aisyah on friendster. "ain has disppeared." i felt sooo low. so many times before i left cedar i told myself that no matter how far our future would bring us, i'd always make time for my gorgeouses. and in the beginning, i did. but now, with the tonnes of things i have to keep myself occupied in school, i think i'm starting to forget that promise i made. and again, IT SUCKS. i love them to bits. (hope you guys know that) sighs. when i think of them, i feel contented. with them, it wasn't about going to fancy places for dinner. pot luck at the beach was enough. it wasn't about dressing up and trying to look pretty. tshirt and jeans were all i had to wear. and it wasn't about watching movies and all that. just walking over to get irish cream coffee was memorable.

to the three of you, if you're reading this, PLEASE KNOW THIS OK? even if i don't tag your blogs as frequently as sooo many others do, it's not that i don't read it anymore or that i've forgotten you or that i'm too busy to want to have anything to do with you. cmon, you guys know how i don't really like the computer. and just because we don't go out as often as we used to doesn't mean we won't eventually, even for a couple of minutes. even if by unexcusable reason, i don't reply you on msn, it's not that i feel talking to you is a waste of time. i'll always be there, the same ain that you guys have helped shape, they one that you guys had known all these years. it pains me so to know that you've felt i've drifted, cos i don't want to. LOVE YOU! remember that ok? just hold on to us. wherever you go, i'll be there!
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