it's been 3 months, and still i can't seem to get over it. i don't know. i keep telling myself i've already accepted it, but i still am sad. i miss all those times that we used to talk about soccer, and all those times you would laugh at me when i talk about ronaldo. i hardly talk about man u anymore. there's no one to talk to about that anyways. i miss making coffee for you. i know i don't do it for aba alot, but making them for you was different, cos you always looked forward to it. and i'd always try to make them as nice as the previous ones. but you know what i miss the most? i miss going over to your house after all my competitions, and you'd congratulate me no matter how bad my jumps were. it's like, you were my most loyal fan. and i miss how you'd always bring me to banquet at greenridge in the evenings for dinner and get me the usual chicken noodle though you hated chicken so much!
i'm sorry i didn't go there after competition on friday. i tried to jump for you, tried to jump good. i thought it was the least i could do when i think about how much you've supported me. i'm sorry i didn't.
i don't know. i can't help thinking it was my fault. you always liked your coffee sweet, so that's how i made it. and you liked it that way, so i never bothered to change it. then, you got diabetes. at least that was what they said. and you left us in less than a month. and the worst part was that i wasn't there when they pulled out the life support system thing. nah, i was walking in when they did it. i just saw the rest breaking down, so hard, i just knew you were gone. i ran, but there was nothing left to do. i never got to tell you i love you.
i know i've got to let go, sometime. but when i saw nenek crying in the morning just now, that day just keep playing itself in my brain. didn't help that the stupid movie during lit reminded me of you more.
help me please. I LOVE YOU ATUK!
ainwashere! 100707
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